[2.1] 7 Facts and An Award

Andre took a sip of his favourite Hazelnut Mocha and squinted at the clock hanging lazily above the coffee machine in Gloria Jeans: another two hours until ‘Shutter Island’. He tried to stifle a gay giggle as he felt his excitement boil inside him, but failed terribly.

Andre looked down at his black-leather diary, and then to his bloated tummy, promptly pulling his pants up the slightest in order to cover his obnoxious butt crack. Decency was highly valued by Andre, ironically enough. In his diary he wrote:

2nd March
Time: 5.58pm

Dear diary,
I went on Blogger yesterday (that blogging website), only to find that I have been tagged in one of those 7 facts about me thingamajiggies. I am not sure why anyone in their right mind would want to know more about me, but I do like to play tag games. Therefore, I shall attempt the quiz with all the brains, charisma and intelligence I can muster. I would also like to thank Princess V for giving me this challenge, and for giving me such a pretty award. Now let’s see… what have I got?

An hour went by without another word being put on paper, and Andre’s momentum started to drain like a leaking dam – swiftly and dangerously. He continued to swirl the spoon aimlessly in his Hazelnut Mocha for a while, before ideas finally started to sink in.

Time: 6.05pm

Dear diary,
Sorry I abandoned you for an hour. I am now back and ready to conquer all. .

Fact 1: I rarely finish what I start. I used to think that everyone was just like me, always getting distracted, forgetting what stage I’m up to in a project, lacking enough motivation to keep me going. But now that I’m older and so much wiser, I realise I might just be abnormal.

Fact 2: I used to be an athlete. Now this fact is highly subjective. Close friends and family used to tell me that athletes didn’t look the way I looked, neither did they run the way I ran, but what does anyone know anyway? I was able to grasp the technicalities of most sports almost instantly. Plus, the only injuries I have ever sustained came from carelessness, and not my sporting abilities.

Fact 3: The only time I ever sprained my ankle really badly was when I stepped into the hole on a golf course. I used to tell people this all the time, thinking that it proved my athletic abilities, since I haven’t really injured myself like all other sport stars. They would just laugh at me, and I would hate them all my life.

Fact 4: I suffer from severe arachnephobia. Gosh, those legs. Why do they need so many anyway?

Fact 5: I am pretty darn good at Scrabble. I don’t know if this is a trait worth having, since Delilah almost never touches a scrabble board, and hurries away when I pull a Scrabble board out. I used to represent my high school in Scrabble at one stage. The glory. Of course, I didn’t win.

Fact 6: I have no idea how to drive a manual car.

Fact 7: I fart a lot. I did significant research on this, and I even posted a comment on OneMinuteWriter.blogspot.com. Let’s see if I can still find it. Of course, as usual, I didn’t win.

Now I’m at the stage where I send this award to 7 other bloggers out there but since I don’t even have 7 followers, I shall just send this award to my dedicated followers because they deserve it:

Andy from http://andyjonesx.blogspot.com,
Johana Hill from http://the-mercurial-wife.blogspot.com/,
Chantelle from http://whenmythoughtsgotainted.blogspot.com/,
Lady V from http://torijean.blogspot.com/,
and The Analyst from http://theanalystquotes.blogspot.com

Andre Leech.


WhiteSockGirl aka The Fabulous Bitch said...

Damn, you are good. You are so damn good!

You deserve that award, many times over...

Johana Hill said...

Oh Andre! I'm having another Blogasm! I'm so excited.

Thank you so much. *jumping up and down* ;p

Fact 1: That's old age! LOL

Fact 2: How do you look like? I'm curious...

Fact 3: Awww...*hugs*

Fact 4: I know right? Disgusting creatures...

Fact 5: I'm pretty good at Scrabble too! But I'm sure not as good as you! I like beating my husband at the game though. ;p

Fact 6: I have no idea how to drive ANY car at all! How's that?

Fact 7: Ewwwgghhhh...I hope you don't fart when you have company?!

Well I need to come up with 7 facts about me. I guess I'll get at it later. This morning for me is going to be pretty busy...

Thank you again Andre...Can I blow you some kisses? ;p

Lady V said...

I fart a lot too...in fact it's so funny that I'm reading this because yesterday before I got off twitter I wrote, " My farts smell like burritos " hahaha....Gotta love us:) Thanks for the sweet award! :)

Andy said...

Ah wow :D, very well written. After reading that I was quite shocked to see my name at the bottom.

... So shocked, actually, that I did one of those little things when my head goes back a few inches and my eyes go wide.

So thank you! I shall do my 7 facts tonight. I will ponder them on my bus ride home, as my tyre last night decided not to grace me with its ability to hold in air.

Another David said...

Congrats! I like the new layout, btw.

André Leech said...

@WhiteSockGirl: It's always a pleasure to see a new follower enjoying my blog. I just might blush, gosh.

@Johana Hill: No, I am a gentleman. I absolutely do not fart with company, unless they provoke me and I become a very angry man. The damage I cause when that happens...

@Lady V: You are most welcome for the award. Time for you to come up with your 7 facts too.

@Andy: I just had that imagery of you with your head back and eyes wide flash through my mind. That would make a great picture for a blog layout. I do hope the bus tyre holds up on your ride home... That sounded so sinister.

@Another David: Believe it or not, I would have presented you with another award if I hadn't read your post about how you had 3 of the same awards and somehow turned that into a Mortal Combat move. That cracked me up. P/S, the CAPTCHA image for me at the moment: diatslim

anNEonymous franke said...

Fellow 20sb-er,

you are definitely not alone on the inability to remain not-distracted: my own breath distracts me.

And spiders are evil. Evil and disgusting.



Sadako said...

Aww. Great facts. I'm kind of flatulent, too!

André Leech said...

It may have been predicted already that someday in the near future groups of brave men will come together and battle these pure forces of evil. I shall see you there anNeonymous franke

André Leech said...

@Sadako: As long as you stay true to your flatulent self, everyone shall fear and respect you. So practice, practice and practice.

Sean Weathers said...

lol, the thoughts on farting were very inspirational...thank you.

The Analyst said...

Thanks for the tag, I have done one of these before at my blog. Kind of hectic with college right now, shall come back and visit your blog again...

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