[2.3] The Master Award?

‘OOOooo! Another award for moi!’ squealed Andre as he scrolled down Lady V’s blog. Sunlight filtering through the blinds splashed almost too violently across his laptop screen, resulting in an excruciating pain at the back of Andre’s eyes every time he tried to focus. Nevertheless, he had another award, and that was all that concerned him. Narcissism or easily excitable?

There was no time to lose, and once again Andre pulled out the trusty black book called a diary and began on a fresh new page.


12th March
Time: 5.47pm

Dear diary, What luck! I just received another award, this time from Lady V. I have won more awards in the span of two weeks than I have in my lifetime. I am so happy. No, I am ecstatic. Actually no, I am elated. I feel like a SIM (from the SIMS 3) who has just completed his lifetime goals and is now ready to die in peace. Well diary, I don’t think I can ever feel more satisfied. I would even drive naked to the tune of ‘Battlefield’ by that Jordin-something.

The next 10 minutes were spent most wisely by Andre as he doodled away passionately in his little black book.




There! Dear diary I have finished this work of art. What I want to convey in this piece is the joy I am holding in my heart. Should my heart suddenly stop one fine day, my emotions and all of my days will remain on this earth. Maybe, just like Adrian Mole’s diary, mine will be discovered by some influential figure in the literary world. He would probably realize the significance of my life in the context of literature and I’ll get famous! I shall live on with all the other greats such as Charles Dickens. Who knows, we might even end up housemates in the after-life. How exciting, gosh.

Oh anyway, back to the masterful award. I proudly declare that I am a master of Wedgies. I don’t know when or how I managed to develop such an advanced skill, but ever so often, when I least expect it, I suddenly feel the warm fabric climb up just a tiny bit higher. Before I know it, BAM, its just there, between the cracks like a peanut butter sandwich. There is a saying that goes ‘with more power comes more responsibility’. I think it came from the Spider Man movie. Anyway, I don’t know how this applies to me but I’m pretty sure it does.

I do realize that most of the bloggers I want to send this award to already have it, so I shall sadly have to skip them. Maybe next time my dear ones. Anyway, I nominate the three musketeers: Andy Jones, Johana Hill, and Chantelle. Alright dear diary, I’m sweating because the stupid air conditioner in this library isn’t working again. Til we meet again, toodaloos.

Andre Leech

[2.1] 7 Facts and An Award

Andre took a sip of his favourite Hazelnut Mocha and squinted at the clock hanging lazily above the coffee machine in Gloria Jeans: another two hours until ‘Shutter Island’. He tried to stifle a gay giggle as he felt his excitement boil inside him, but failed terribly.

Andre looked down at his black-leather diary, and then to his bloated tummy, promptly pulling his pants up the slightest in order to cover his obnoxious butt crack. Decency was highly valued by Andre, ironically enough. In his diary he wrote:


2nd March
Time: 5.58pm

Dear diary,
I went on Blogger yesterday (that blogging website), only to find that I have been tagged in one of those 7 facts about me thingamajiggies. I am not sure why anyone in their right mind would want to know more about me, but I do like to play tag games. Therefore, I shall attempt the quiz with all the brains, charisma and intelligence I can muster. I would also like to thank Princess V for giving me this challenge, and for giving me such a pretty award. Now let’s see… what have I got?


An hour went by without another word being put on paper, and Andre’s momentum started to drain like a leaking dam – swiftly and dangerously. He continued to swirl the spoon aimlessly in his Hazelnut Mocha for a while, before ideas finally started to sink in.


Time: 6.05pm

Dear diary,
Sorry I abandoned you for an hour. I am now back and ready to conquer all. .

Fact 1: I rarely finish what I start. I used to think that everyone was just like me, always getting distracted, forgetting what stage I’m up to in a project, lacking enough motivation to keep me going. But now that I’m older and so much wiser, I realise I might just be abnormal.

Fact 2: I used to be an athlete. Now this fact is highly subjective. Close friends and family used to tell me that athletes didn’t look the way I looked, neither did they run the way I ran, but what does anyone know anyway? I was able to grasp the technicalities of most sports almost instantly. Plus, the only injuries I have ever sustained came from carelessness, and not my sporting abilities.

Fact 3: The only time I ever sprained my ankle really badly was when I stepped into the hole on a golf course. I used to tell people this all the time, thinking that it proved my athletic abilities, since I haven’t really injured myself like all other sport stars. They would just laugh at me, and I would hate them all my life.

Fact 4: I suffer from severe arachnephobia. Gosh, those legs. Why do they need so many anyway?

Fact 5: I am pretty darn good at Scrabble. I don’t know if this is a trait worth having, since Delilah almost never touches a scrabble board, and hurries away when I pull a Scrabble board out. I used to represent my high school in Scrabble at one stage. The glory. Of course, I didn’t win.

Fact 6: I have no idea how to drive a manual car.

Fact 7: I fart a lot. I did significant research on this, and I even posted a comment on OneMinuteWriter.blogspot.com. Let’s see if I can still find it. Of course, as usual, I didn’t win.


Now I’m at the stage where I send this award to 7 other bloggers out there but since I don’t even have 7 followers, I shall just send this award to my dedicated followers because they deserve it:

Andy from http://andyjonesx.blogspot.com,
Johana Hill from http://the-mercurial-wife.blogspot.com/,
Chantelle from http://whenmythoughtsgotainted.blogspot.com/,
Lady V from http://torijean.blogspot.com/,
and The Analyst from http://theanalystquotes.blogspot.com

Andre Leech.

[1.6] Grey, Grey Skies

Andre looked around him as he stood on the balcony. The cloudless sky was a vast canvas of toneless grey. The wind blew furiously and rain poured with assertion. Each drop plunged like daggers to the heart, like treacherous words intended to rupture even the purest of souls. Andre set his hands on the balcony rails, and lay his head peacefully on the back of his palms. For the first time in a long time, he felt alone.

He inhaled deeply. The moist, unfriendly air filled his lungs as he let out an abrupt cough. I guess tar and moisture aren’t the best of buddies, he thought.

That night Andre pulled out a little black leather book, which would serve as his diary in the years to come. He turned to the first fresh page, gave it a whiff and put his pen to paper. He wrote:



27th February 2010,
Time: 10.25pm

Dear diary,
I miss Delilah.


Andre Leech